In An Absolut World

BFFs Reunited

3/11/2008 10:54:59 AM

When last we checked in with this threesome—Zach Galifianakis, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim—there was trouble in paradise. The hot tub was too hot and poor Zach had suffered a terrible loss. But they’re sticking to their vision of an ABSOLUT WORLD: these friends are still getting together more often, jet skis and all. And you’re invited to join. Zach has worked on his temper and gotten a new hairstyle. Tim and Eric have picked up a couple of babes. The rest you’ll have to see for yourself.

Random acts of kindness

7/2/2008 9:14:38 AM

What a brilliant and doable vision by Lillewarg. She’s envisioning a world in which people do nice things for each other without expecting anything in return. Now that she’s named this movement, we could all enlist today. Why not give a stranger something nice when they least expect it and join the invisible army?

Dream Weaver

7/1/2008 2:45:19 PM

I would like to start my day later. We’ve got one word for Noa-hellman: freelance. If you work for yourself you can start your day whenever you want. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean you get to work less—in fact, you will likely have to work more, but you can control your schedule and catch ZZZZs when you choose. This is an especially good option if you live outside of the United States where freelancers have to pay a lot ($600 a month) for their own health insurance.

Animal Planet

6/11/2008 9:35:09 AM

This visionary is not alone in his desire to communicate with animals. People have been trying to do it for ages. There’s Koko, the signing gorilla, who captured our attention in the 70s. Then there’s a whole cottage industry of animal communicators who claim to solve behavioral pet problems with telepathic communication. Perhaps this visionary could take a workshop in animal telepathy to realize his vision. Or maybe he could get some tips from Mr. Ed or Babe the talking pig.

Communication Nation

6/11/2008 9:22:14 AM

In addition to the three Rs ('reading, 'riting, 'rithmetic), we like Trishanne’s vision for adding a C for communication. Kudos to her for having the ability to recognize the importance of communication and for then coming up with a vision that would improve this vital skill. She suggests we teach it in school and speculates (probably correctly) that better communication would result in “less violence and war.” How can we put this plan into action?

Travel Junkie

6/11/2008 9:07:55 AM

They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch and we’d add that there’s no such thing as a free trip. Even if you don’t have to pay for airline tickets, the environmental costs of more people flying the friendly skies would be a disaster. We love the fantasy, but perhaps Martin-P could hone this vision so it’s more eco-friendly and then come up with a plan for how he’d like to realize it.

Flattery will get you everywhere

5/28/2008 1:09:15 PM

Nothing like a few compliments to make people happy. Give-Cmore-Cred-Its-Free´s vision proves how hungry we all are for a little stroking. We love it that Give-Cmore-Cred-Its-Free has a real, viable plan for realizing his vision — a website where you people can praise you. Whenever you’re feeling underappreciated you can log in and see just how special you really are. Would you visit it?

A sweet deal

5/27/2008 12:03:01 PM

Mary Poppins would’ve been pleased with this vision except she wouldn’t need a “spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down” because the spoonful of sugar would be the medicine. In addition to being a heart-smart food, chocolate would banish the blues. Lolli’s would be stress busters. Enough with the vilification of sugar! But uhm, wait a minute… what about those soaring diabetes rates?

Spreading smiles

5/14/2008 12:29:37 PM

With so much hatred running rampant in our world, we love the idea of passing around joyful gifts to strangers. Mauril-O has come up with a great way to thank those who make her smile. Too bad they’re phasing out the Polaroid instant camera or this vision would be easily realized (http://www.polaroid.com/ifilm/en/index.html) She could snap a shot of her smile and scribble a nice note on the bottom. Until all the film is gone, Mauril-O can give a gift that’ll keep on giving.

The quiet game

5/14/2008 12:08:38 PM

Who hasn’t sat through the insufferable sound of a person unwrapping candy in the theater? Those days would be over if we come up with a mute machine. At the first crinkle, sniffle or crunch, you could silence the offender. And it would be useful if you’re having an argument and want to quiet your foe. It’s a great idea but we’re not sure how you could actually create a machine like that. Any suggestions?